All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
this just has baby written all over it
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Who died my cat blue again?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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