I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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