But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
