If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
