Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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