True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
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Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
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I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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