I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
