I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
