i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
