my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
