She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
