dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
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I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
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He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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