There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
