The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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