Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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