drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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