Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize