just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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