I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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