I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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