She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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