it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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