If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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