I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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