what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
