Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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