I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
