How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
