And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
