She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
