i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
