Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
