Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
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