u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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