Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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