oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
