She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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