Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
