This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
