at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
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and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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