i just google imaged poop.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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