well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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