just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
