people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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