He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Do vagina's smell?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
