I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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