i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
