quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
