The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
