I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
