yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize