seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Randomize
