his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
