Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
