Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize