I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize