Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
